Archive for Times Square Bomb Scare. Car Bomb

“Who Buys Their Car Bomb on Craigs List” (The JV Terrorists Part 2)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on May 4, 2010 by mattyfresh697400

Junior Varsity

Doesnt the logic go , that the real hard-core international terrorists, the real deal islamic fundamentalists , the I am gonna fly a commercial airliner into a skyscraper , or the I am gonna blow myself to bits  and take as many people with me on a double-decker bus in London never get caught……isnt that how these things normally play out……Why you ask?

Well to put in plainly the Terrorists that get the job done almost never get caught because by the time the deed is done and they have killed as many innocent people as possible,  they themselves have been blown to kingdom Come.

The Good terrorists don’t get caught because they are suicide bombers. Our Junior Varsity terrorist from this past weekends failed Time Square attack, was caught on early Tuesday morning (Monday night really ) trying to board a plane to Dubai with his eventual destination being Pakistan.

So let me get this straight Mr. Faisal Shahzad , you were born in Pakistan, but are a naturalized U.S. Citizen. You attempted to remotely detonate ( or so its seems) a massive car bomb in the heart of Times Square, you were to chicken shit to actually just be in the car, make sure your equipment worked properly so you could meet your 40 virgins or whatever it is your crew thinks you get for being a Martyr, and instead of manning up and blowing yourself to high hell you go to JFK to hop a flight to Dubai.

What do you think this is an episode of “Law and Order” and you have a shot at making that next flight out. If you are on American soil chances are we gonna get ya,That is what we do. Its called HOME COURT ADVANTAGE in SPORTS. Sure if you are hiding in a cave somewhere in the Khyber Pass, you might be a lot harder to nail. But when you buy a ticket to Dubai out of JFK like you are Alan Stanwick (from the wonderful and quite frankly under-rated film Fletch) We Got You. I mean this truly is Junior Varsity Terrorism at its finest… Dude pick another airport, rent a car and fly out of Charleston. This is like a really  bad  chapter out of a Patterson book.


So now you’re in American custody, and although the FEDS would have much preferred to simply watch your movements  and see who you move with and in turn who your contacts move with, we were forced to collar you because you were leaving our borders. But have no fear, if you were this sloppy, your friends and associates will be monitored and watched and ultimately brought to justice as well.

But in the interim Faisal…..


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Junior Varsity Terrorists???

Posted in History, New York City, NY Times, NYC with tags , , , , , , on May 3, 2010 by mattyfresh697400

Terrorism is defined as the ” Use of Violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes” I certainly do not have to tell anyone that the attacks on 9/11 basically were the Triple Crown of a global terrorist attack. Number one and most  importantly the murder of 3000 innocent people, two ,the fact the attack took place on american soil , and three,..the symbolism involved in not only attacking the symbolic heart of our capitalist spirit but the actually ever-lasting images of the collapse of the Towers. Real life images are powerful things, the images of the Twin Towers falling will be haunting forever. Being a New Yorker, I saw them fall with my very own eyes.

I would like to think that post 9/11, the American efforts to prevent another attack on American soil have been nothing short of perfect.

But then of course we HAVE to be perfect don’t we, anything less than complete perfection is complete failure and the loss of further American lives.  When it comes to fighting terror, the odds are on the sides of the terrorists , in that they can afford to not hit their target, and they might very well live to fight another day or certainly some fundamentalist with their own gripes about the world will be there to take their place.

For the moment though I would like to  think, that we are winning the WAR on Terror as they call it, and by applying pressure to terrorist forces on their soil (Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Sudan) Fighting the fight in their backyard simply put, keeps America safer. The downside to this philosophy is that unless there are sweeping changes amongst those factions that hate our way of life, preach that hatred to the younger generations and are willing to sacrifice their own lives to “KILL THE INFIDELS”…then Unfortunately this might be a war that never ends. Because it can’t!

There is something that’s clear though as indicated by recent events, The Terrorists (Domestic or International) are still out there and still trying to take innocent American lives, only problem for them is , We got the real heavy hitters pinned down , hiding in caves, dodging Special Forces units all the while trying to play defense and organize their offense.

And clearly right now the Junior Varsity squad is playing ball for the Terrorists. In December the attempted christmas bombing of Flight 253 from the Netherlands to Michigan was perpetrated by a Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab , Nigerian national that might have trained in Yemen but clearly to did not pass the bomb denotation courses offered by Al Quada, being that Mr. Mutallab could not even detonate his device, but in a sweet twist of irony did manage to burn himself in the “CROTCHAL REGION” ….word to Anchorman.

Then we have the events of this past saturday night, a car bomb, loaded with enough explosive devices to put a nice crater in the middle of Times Square, considered by some to be the literal center of the world. The potential carnage would have this nation shook. Thankfully this wanna be terrorist also never got his IED degree , and the ever vigilante New York Street Vendor saved the day.

Now the obvious and most troubling question is how did these JV Terrorists get so close to making the pros and accomplishing their mission. The truth is we live in the most free and open society in the world and you can’t police it ,The freedoms we have in our society define what is to be American. And whether the terrorists are able to succeed one day in the future and all the odds point in that eventuality, I don’t believe America or Americans will change. I mean I went to Times Square yesterday to hit up CHAMPS and by some Air Jordans…Americans dont cave.

But I guess what gives me a slight glimmer of hope is that the few potential attacks that were , (well we can’t say they were foiled, The idiots just could not get the job done) that have been made public,  were perpetrated by the D-League players and perhaps we actually do have the Osama Bin Ladens of the world so holed up that to even consider a plan as complex and as ruthless as 9/11 is just not in the cards right now. The Terrorist varsity team is benched and the hopefully we can handle the JV players. … But then again..any asshole can blow themselves up….right?

I consider myself a pretty superstitious person, but that applies more to like always sitting in the exact same seat at Yankee Stadium and stepping onto the plane with my right foot, so I pray that by writing this I am not jinxing anything. Our country has gotten lucky twice recently and for that I am grateful.

But if you can put a  positive spin on the two recent attempted terrorist attacks, it’s that we are currently dealing (Thankfully) with  the equivalent of  the Bad News Bears of terrorists, The Nigerian genius tries to blow an airliner out of the sky and instead he burns his hanes boxer briefs……what?

Lets pray that if they continue to send over terrorists or even grow them right here on our soil that they are of the JUNIOR VARSITY Variety!!